Well, I can honestly say I don't hear some of these things as much as I used to, but I can sure say I've heard them all at some point in the course of my sickness. Unless you've walked in my shoes, you'll just never know, I understand that, but that doesn't mean you have to be an uncaring asshole, does it?
I'm lucky I get to stay home in bed? How's that? Yeah, maybe for a day or two, or a week, tops.. but do you know how badly I wish I could get out and do things, just live? Do you know how much I wish I could go to the store for myself? Walk my dog? Play with my nephews? Have my own kids to take care of and play with? Buy my own food, clothes, etc? I rely on my parents for this still. The last time I saw a movie in a theater was in 2005. Since then, there's been times that I COULD have gone, but seriously, how can I justify going to a movie to sit in pain for 2 hours (not counting driving time which is also painful?) Any enjoyment of seeing a movie would completely be ruined by the torture necessary for sitting through it.. the benefits just aren't worth it. And oh, how I wish I could just do whatever I wanted.. I'd be back in school for sure, especially considering I only need two more classes for my degree. I've been saying it for years now, I'd work at McDonald's for the rest of my life if it meant I was healthy enough to actually do the job!!!
Before I got really sick and had to quit working and going to school, I was constantly complaining that I just wanted a day off! I was working M/W/F as scheduled shifts, had classes T/TH, but was picking up as many extra shifts as possible which at times (especially the last year) meant I was working M-Sat (I refused to work Sundays!), and whatever time I wasn't at work or school, I was doing homework, and actually, I always had textbooks with me at work and between calls, I was always reading and taking notes. I used my work holidays to write my exams and I used my school holidays to work more!! I took as many summer and spring classes as I could and I lived on this schedule for two years before I quit everything. I was completely burnt out, there's no doubt about that, but I was sooo close to the finish line, that I just wanted to get it all over with. Heh, so much for that.
Just pray harder. Lmao. Heard this one too. I was told I wouldn't be sick anymore if I just prayed! RIGHT! So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all these years! I forgot to pray!! Seriously, for the amount of people who have prayed for me over the years, I should be healthier than a horse, and I should probably also live until I'm about 201 years old, at least. Yeah, I'll just pray a little more. (Note: I don't believe prayer will hurt my cause, however I certainly don't believe it will do very much in helping it!)
I'm lucky I get to stay home in bed? How's that? Yeah, maybe for a day or two, or a week, tops.. but do you know how badly I wish I could get out and do things, just live? Do you know how much I wish I could go to the store for myself? Walk my dog? Play with my nephews? Have my own kids to take care of and play with? Buy my own food, clothes, etc? I rely on my parents for this still. The last time I saw a movie in a theater was in 2005. Since then, there's been times that I COULD have gone, but seriously, how can I justify going to a movie to sit in pain for 2 hours (not counting driving time which is also painful?) Any enjoyment of seeing a movie would completely be ruined by the torture necessary for sitting through it.. the benefits just aren't worth it. And oh, how I wish I could just do whatever I wanted.. I'd be back in school for sure, especially considering I only need two more classes for my degree. I've been saying it for years now, I'd work at McDonald's for the rest of my life if it meant I was healthy enough to actually do the job!!!
Before I got really sick and had to quit working and going to school, I was constantly complaining that I just wanted a day off! I was working M/W/F as scheduled shifts, had classes T/TH, but was picking up as many extra shifts as possible which at times (especially the last year) meant I was working M-Sat (I refused to work Sundays!), and whatever time I wasn't at work or school, I was doing homework, and actually, I always had textbooks with me at work and between calls, I was always reading and taking notes. I used my work holidays to write my exams and I used my school holidays to work more!! I took as many summer and spring classes as I could and I lived on this schedule for two years before I quit everything. I was completely burnt out, there's no doubt about that, but I was sooo close to the finish line, that I just wanted to get it all over with. Heh, so much for that.
Just pray harder. Lmao. Heard this one too. I was told I wouldn't be sick anymore if I just prayed! RIGHT! So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all these years! I forgot to pray!! Seriously, for the amount of people who have prayed for me over the years, I should be healthier than a horse, and I should probably also live until I'm about 201 years old, at least. Yeah, I'll just pray a little more. (Note: I don't believe prayer will hurt my cause, however I certainly don't believe it will do very much in helping it!)
*sighs*..
Not on the list but heard a lot.. "Are you better yet?"... sometimes it's asked with genuine curiosity by someone who you've not talked to in awhile - in that case it's fine. But more often than not it's asked with an undertone of "Are you even trying to get better?".. "You couldn't be THAT sick!"... one of the most annoying questions that also goes along with.. "How are you?" Am I better yet? Hmm.. if I was better, do you really think I'd still be stuck at home, unable to work or go to school, or go out, or have fun, or do ANYTHING?? If I was better, I guarantee you I would not still be doing what I've been doing for the past 7 years!!!!! And 'How am I?'.. well which answer do you want? Do you want me to tell you the truth? To tell you how much pain I'm in, to tell you how horrible, weak, sick, and tired I feel, to tell you how frustrated with life I am, to tell you how sick of fighting for my life I've become, to tell you how jealous I am of the things other people get to do, to tell you how hard it is to do anything even showering or going to the bathroom or feeding myself, to tell you how lonely and miserable this disease can be, to tell you of all the dreams I can't achieve, to tell you all this? Or do you want me to put on my best smile and say "I'm okay, I'm good, I'm fine, I'm alright, I'm great, I'm swell, I'm hunky dory, I'm super".... which do you REALLY want to hear? I bet it's the second one. It's almost always the second one and because *I* know this and because *you* know this.. why do you even waste your breath by still asking? You could ask me if the sun rises each day, and we'd be just as far ahead at understanding how the world works.
Not on the list but heard a lot.. "Are you better yet?"... sometimes it's asked with genuine curiosity by someone who you've not talked to in awhile - in that case it's fine. But more often than not it's asked with an undertone of "Are you even trying to get better?".. "You couldn't be THAT sick!"... one of the most annoying questions that also goes along with.. "How are you?" Am I better yet? Hmm.. if I was better, do you really think I'd still be stuck at home, unable to work or go to school, or go out, or have fun, or do ANYTHING?? If I was better, I guarantee you I would not still be doing what I've been doing for the past 7 years!!!!! And 'How am I?'.. well which answer do you want? Do you want me to tell you the truth? To tell you how much pain I'm in, to tell you how horrible, weak, sick, and tired I feel, to tell you how frustrated with life I am, to tell you how sick of fighting for my life I've become, to tell you how jealous I am of the things other people get to do, to tell you how hard it is to do anything even showering or going to the bathroom or feeding myself, to tell you how lonely and miserable this disease can be, to tell you of all the dreams I can't achieve, to tell you all this? Or do you want me to put on my best smile and say "I'm okay, I'm good, I'm fine, I'm alright, I'm great, I'm swell, I'm hunky dory, I'm super".... which do you REALLY want to hear? I bet it's the second one. It's almost always the second one and because *I* know this and because *you* know this.. why do you even waste your breath by still asking? You could ask me if the sun rises each day, and we'd be just as far ahead at understanding how the world works.
(Disclaimer: This rant is not directed at everyone in my life, chances are if you're actually reading this, it's NOT directed at you.)
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